Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
All the doctor said was why
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
