Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
