Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
