Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We need to rekindle our bromance
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
