fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
