Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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