You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
