I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
