True but thats because hes a fetus.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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