quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
