...so i touched it.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
