Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
