Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
