awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
