is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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