So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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