i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize