she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We need a shit load of segways right now
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
