I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
