You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
