Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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