A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
