Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
