Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
this hospital has no fireball
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
