no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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