I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
