I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I would fuck him just for his dog
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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