This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize