We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
