I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You ate ashes out of my bong
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
