Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Everyone says I win the strip club
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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