I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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