I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
