I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
