She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
