Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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