How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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