Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
