Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
