Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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