Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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