he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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