So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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