I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Oh god it's open bar.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
