The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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