why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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