I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize