dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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