So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
