Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
