woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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