It's Friday. Sex?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
