I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
