I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
