She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
