ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
and she was petting her beer can
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
