Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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