her vagine was all disorganized.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
