My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
