i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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