My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
