Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
