you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
